POV: My Mom Had Breast Cancer
October 24, 2024How my mom’s breast cancer diagnosis at age 39 shaped my own healthcare experience
The average age of a woman when she receives a breast cancer diagnosis is 62 years old. So, you can imagine the shock in our home when my mother, a healthy 39-year-old with no family history of breast cancer, was diagnosed with stage 1 breast cancer.
Though I was just 16 at the time, I wanted to be with her for every step of her journey. I accompanied her to chemotherapy and radiation treatments, slept by her side in the hospital following her double mastectomy and reconstruction surgeries, and even held her hand at the tattoo studio when she got her new nipples. Yep, you read that correctly – there are tattoo artists who specialize in creating realistic nipples for breast cancer patients.
Despite being so involved in her care, I didn’t think about how her diagnosis would affect me until I completed the family history form at my first gynecologist appointment. That was when my doctor told me that because my mother was diagnosed before she turned 40, I should start getting mammograms 10 years before her diagnosis age – meaning I would start at age 29. This conversation was followed by instructions on how to perform regular self-breast exams and a review of the sometimes-conflicting information about if birth control pills can increase a woman’s risk of breast cancer.
While this was a routine gynecologic exam, all I could hear was breast cancer this, breast cancer that, breast cancer, breast cancer, breast cancer.
My mother’s diagnosis has continued to be a topic of conversation at almost all medical appointments and factored into many of my healthcare decisions, such as which fertility treatment to pursue when I was struggling to get pregnant and when to squeeze in (pun intended) mammograms between pregnancies and breastfeeding windows.
When it was finally time for my first mammogram, I didn’t really know what to expect other than a vague idea that a stranger would squish my breast in a machine. While it was not nearly as awkward or uncomfortable as I imagined, I certainly hadn’t anticipated receiving a follow up call about the need to “look at a spot further” with an ultrasound.
Turns out, like many women under 40, I had higher breast density, which can cloud a mammogram and often requires a second look via ultrasound. I still occasionally get called back for a second look, but knowing this is common for someone in my situation helps calm the nerves that come along with anything other than a letter stating, “no follow up care is needed.”
Having a parent with cancer can be stressful and overwhelming and it is natural to have similar worries about what their diagnosis means for your own health.
I am still one of the youngest people in the room at my annual mammogram, but as I approach 40 – the age when most women are encouraged to start getting annual mammogram screenings – I no longer feel as out of place at these appointments.
Because 1 in 8 women will develop breast cancer in their lifetime, I now also have many friends who can relate to the experience of having a mother with breast cancer. The possibility of receiving my own diagnosis is still a jarring thought, but thanks to early detection and excellent healthcare, I know I’m doing everything I can to minimize my risk of developing late-stage breast cancer. Most importantly, my mom is just a phone call away if I need someone to talk to.
Have you made your mammogram appointment yet?
